October 8, 2010

It's Good for my heart...


Steven Shawn Sherrod {1/12/74-10/05/2009}


Everyone loses someone at some point in their life. Sometimes the loss is bittersweet and sometimes it's devastating.  It's been over a year now, and i still find myself struggling with the loss of a very good friend and how to overcome this pang of emptiness I feel everyday when he crosses my mind... because he does cross it everyday! So i figured if i could get a little bit off my chest... maybe the hole in my chest won't hurt seem so big...
Golly, where to begin... i guess at the beginning seems as good a place as any!!
Steven and i met when i was working in my aunts restaurant/bar and i saw him walk in one night and i was was struck by his confidence and self assurance... along with his stellar good looks of course! He was bigger than life and i was immediately drawn to his charismatic self!!  I was only 16... no 17... and he was 22...no 23 lol ... we didn't actually MEET until about a year later...  but from that moment on, i looked forward to his coming in to the restaurant when i was working...

Steven saw me into adulthood with love, advice and a big brother sort of protection; never satisfied with what i was doing because he knew i could be so much more. Good Lord, when he heard me sing for the first time i thought he'd have a coronary on the spot talkin about how i needed to "do something" with my talent. Ironically it will be only months after his passing that i will pick up a mic and hit the stage, singing one of the favorites we always listened to.

He always used to say that no matter where we were in our lives we'd be sitting on the same stools in the same bar sitting side by side still enjoying each others company and getting on each others nerves!!
Everyday i think of something he said, something we did, someplace we went... and that all too familiar lump in my throat reappears and i have to swallow back the memories and remember that one day we will meet again... well that's the theory anyway. I love you, i MISS you, and i am still a little lost without you..... xoxo my luverly...

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