If not anything else, I appreciate one thing in my life deeply: a man that can cook an amazing meal.
Luckily, the current climaxed interest in celebrity chefs has also allowed me to feed into my fetish from the comfort of my living room.
In celebration of The Decadent Diva’s first anniversary, I wanted to share my most lusted after celebrity chefs with you. Lord knows the DD & I have spent enough time acting like prepubescent girls while watching our favorite culinary show.
They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so I also
They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so I also
wanted to let you know what I would cook for these men to have them screaming, “TEAM RACHEL!” at the end of the night… or maybe the next morning
5. Tom Colicchio
Truth be told, I have a thing for charming, bald, blue-eyed men in power. Tom has won FIVE James
Beard Foundation medals for culinary prowess over the past few decades, for Christ’s sake. In addition, he’s won a Grammy as an executive producer for Bravo’s reality cooking series, Top Chef. Everyone always goes so super crazy over Padma, the show’s host but really… Let’s look at the man behind the genius. Can we say… yes, please?
On the menu: A traditional Coq Au vin -- because he’d be super impressed if I actually pulled it off
(quite frankly, I’d be impressed with my damn self). You have to impress grown-up men like Tom
proper!
4. Michael Symon
You thought I was lying about my undying love for bald men, didn’t you? Hailing from Ohio, Michael has almost singlehandedly rejuvenated the restaurant industry in the urban areas of Cleveland. While Mr. Symon has an endless love for using pork and a variety of other meat types, I’m pretty sure that I could distract him long enough to swap out the bacon with turkey bacon.
On the menu: Bacon-wrapped pork loin with an apple/pecan relish. Just because I don’t eat that shit doesn’t mean that I won’t step behind the stove for my chef harem.
3. Bobby Flay
Bobby Flay belongs to the elite group of televised chefs that have really set the mark for celebrity chefs as we know them. Along with baldies, I have been known to love a ginger or two, and Bobby definitely feeds my craving. There’s something about a man and a grill that has revolutionized the word sexy to me. Totally down to get my ginger on proper.
On the menu: Grilled skirt steak with an avocado and mango relish. We all know grill master Bobby likes a little bit of Latin flavor – I can take care of this on all sides. Ahem.
2. Chuck Hughes
I remember the first time I saw Chuck Hughes. Actually, I saw his commercial for his latest show,
Chuck’s Day Off, which airs on the Cooking Channel. In fact, I got kind of psychotic about it – I sat in bed with my handy iPhone and Googled until I actually found his name (I believe my search term was, “hot tattooed chefs with accents” – it totally worked, by the way). I mean, he’s gotten tattoos of his most cherished foods: arugula, bacon, shrimp, lobster, and a fucking lemon meringue pie.
On the menu: Oysters on the half shell with a lovely lemon meringue cocktail for dessert. Nothing like a
good night cap with a hottie!
1. Anthony Bourdain
Oh Tony Bourdain. In my imagination, we have had about 38 love children (with quasi-salt & pepper afros) and have been around the world at least twenty times. In fact, Tony is so sweet that he eats all of the bugs and shit on my plate when we travel somewhere together remotely as to not make me out to be a disrespectful foreign guest. We drink tequila and say the word “fuck” together.
On the menu: Me. And Tequila. That’s all we need here.
Honorable mentions:
I love Mexicans award: Aarón Sanchez
I love assholes award: Rocco DiSpirito
I love mohawks award: Marc Forgione
I love foreigners award: Curtis Stone
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